Socrates

The original troll philosopher who walked around Athens asking annoying questions until they killed him for it. Socrates never wrote anything down (probably thought it was beneath him), so everything we know comes from fanboy Plato. His method? Pretend to know nothing, ask innocent questions, then systematically destroy your opponent's argument until they realize they don't know anything either. He called himself the 'gadfly of Athens' - basically a human mosquito buzzing around making people uncomfortable. He was famously ugly (snub nose, bulging eyes, pot belly) but had ridiculous charisma. When sentenced to death for 'corrupting the youth,' he could've escaped but chose to drink hemlock instead, turning his execution into his final philosophical lesson. Ultimate mic drop.